What Do I Do If My Adult Kids Move Back In and Live At Home
"My kid is moving back home after college."
"I have two kids who have to move back in with us."
"How do we make it work if my children have to move back home?"
"I love having my kids back home, but we need help figuring this out."
This most recent severe & long lasting recession has made it more common for adult children to live at home with their parents.
High unemployment, college debt, and apartment / housing costs are causing many young people to delay moving out on their own.
If you are a parent who wants to help your kids while also encouraging their independence, here are fifteen important financial and personal considerations to implement.
Love means introducing your kids to the real world. Paying for housing will help them to become more responsible and understand the consequences of their actions. It's also good for their self-esteem.
How much is rent?
Let them work it off.
There will be cases where cash payments are impossible. Give your children the option to contribute in other ways. For example, they can help by painting the house or completing other household chores.
How will they pay?
Teach money skills.
Discuss the basics of creating a budget and sticking to it. Talk about using credit responsibly and adding to your savings on a regular basis.
How much do they know about money?
Plan for the future.
Job hunting is hard work. Praise your children for making an effort. Offer advice and referrals if they are open to them.
What's the plan?
Set time limits and conditions.
It's wise to support your kids in a way that gives them a better chance for success. Make it clear that you are letting them move back in for 6 months or a year. You can always extend the time if the circumstances warrant it.
What are your terms?
Modify your support as needed.
Strategic limits on your assistance reduce the risk of creating a sense of entitlement. It's okay for you to change the terms and amount of aid if you think a different arrangement would work better.
Does anything need to change?
Act in unity with your partner.
Parents need to present a unified front. Negotiate between yourselves first about what assistance you can offer your children.
Can you stick together?
Protect your own retirement.
Think long term. Covering your own retirement expenses will take the pressure off in your later years and avoid placing a future financial burden on your kids.
Are you still protecting yourself?
Abandon any sense of stigma.
Studies show that more young adults are living at home compared to any time since the 1950s in the US. The figure has almost doubled since 1980. Rest assured that you have plenty of company and this is no reflection on you.
How does everyone involved feel about this?
Talk things over.
Communication is critical when you have more people under one roof. Address potential conflicts promptly and respectfully.
When will you sit and talk?
Draft an agreement.
Put things in writing to avoid misunderstandings. You may want to lay out the key house rules.
What's the agreement?
You and your kids probably have very different bedtimes now. Let them know the quiet hours you need. Taking shoes off by the door can also minimize nighttime disruptions.
What's the curfew policy?
Decide on overnight guests.
You have the right to determine sleeping arrangements under your roof. Set aside a guest room for girlfriends and boyfriends if it makes you more comfortable.
Who can stay over?
Learn from other cultures.
Much of the world still follows traditions where grandparents, parents and children live together. You may want to give the idea another look.
Who can you learn from?
Enjoy getting to know each other.
For however long you share the same home, there is a special connection present in parents and children living together as adults. Be open to seeing your sons and daughters in a new light.
How well do you really know each other?
The recession has had at least one positive result in bringing many families closer together.
Managing a multi-generational household is a challenge to say the least, but the rewards are huge.
Take pleasure in each other€™s company and support your adult children in getting ready to go out on their own.
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