The Best Ways To Improve Your Self-Esteem

Everyone needs to feel a sense of self-worth and healthy self-esteem in order to live a happy and successful life. The alternative is feeling inadequate, depressed and anxiety ridden.

Below are simple but effective ways to change your attitude in yourself. In doing so, you will find that you can change your life!

It's time for you to build your own self-worth and self-esteem starting NOW.

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Replies (14)
    • Stop comparing yourself to other people.

      We are all individuals with different qualities. We start out life with different genes. We don't have the same values, desires, ambitions or dreams as other people. So there is no point in comparing oneself against another person and judging our value on that basis.

      Take for example a person who feels badly because he cannot afford to take his wife on an expensive vacation for her birthday, like her best friend's husband did. He's not even thinking about whether his wife actually wants to go on that kind of vacation. Maybe he and his wife have chosen to spend their money on creating a beautiful home instead. Or maybe the wife knows that her best friend's husband is unfaithful and it's guilt that's making him appear so generous. She values other qualities in her own husband.

      If there is any comparison to be made, it is just a question of comparing yourself with yourself. For example, you may notice that you performed better on a test than the last time, or with a challenging task at work. If you do this, it is important to be gentle with yourself if you find that you did worse this time. Look at the reasons for that, and how you can do better next time.

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      • Strengthen your strengths.

        When you exercise your strengths, they become stronger and your self-esteem rises as well. We all like to feel proud of the things we excel at and those things cause us to feel better about ourselves.

        Spend time working on, building, and renewing your strengths, and your inner approval rating will soar.

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        • Surround yourself with positive people.

          Positive energy is like an electrical charge as it spreads from one person to the next. When you spend time in the company of positive people, your own attitude will lift to match theirs, and you'll be charged from their energy.

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          • Measure your worth based on yourself, not on others.

            Everyone sees the world based on his or her own biases and circumstances. When someone pours negative thoughts on another person, it's a greater reflection on their own deficiencies than the person they're attacking.

            Basing your self-esteem on another person's opinions is never a good idea. Instead, take your value from what you know to be the truth about yourself from the inside out, not the other way around.

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            • Do things you love.

              The more time you spend doing things you love to do, the better it makes you feel. Doing the things you enjoy causes your brain to produce higher levels of endorphins, which are chemical in the brain that increase your sense of joy and well-being.

              Engaging in activities we love also helps us recall other times we've done them, and those memories increase our self-esteem. Our favorite activities are often things we do well, which is a factor in increasing our self-esteem.

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              • Believe in yourself.

                Trust in your ability to achieve whatever you set your mind to accomplish. When you believe that you're capable of attaining your goals, you unleash the ability to do so from deep within you, so trust in the process.

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                • Speak affirming thoughts to yourself.

                  We've all heard the phrase "act as if." Affirmations work on that principle. Instead of saying, "I want to be happy," say, "I am a happy person." Say it out loud everyday.

                  You'll begin to reprogram your subconscious to believe it as the truth, and soon you'll be feeling that truth every day.

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                  • Set your thoughts on the things you want to attract.

                    Albert Einstein determined all things are made of energy and energy attracts more of the same energy. Focusing your thoughts on the things you desire in your life keeps the energy of those things moving toward you.

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                    • Speak to others in an empowering way.

                      People with low self esteem often have a hard time giving positive criticism to others. When people do something that we don't like, we tend to be afraid of the consequences of telling them. So we don't say anything right away. Instead we bottle up our feelings until they explode in an angry attack on the person.

                      You can use the same empowering words with others that you will use with yourself. For example, instead of saying to your kids, "Go clean your room now," try saying "You can clean your room now, honey." Make it sound like a fun thing they are sure to want to do! And instead of telling your spouse, "Don't let the dog jump on the bed," try saying, "You don't need to let the dog jump on the bed."

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                      • Help other people.

                        People who do good in the world usually end up with a positive view of themselves. Helping somebody out can have a big effect on your feelings of self worth.

                        Of course, this does not mean denying your own wishes and becoming a person who is taken for granted. Putting yourself last in a negative way is what many people with low self esteem have been doing for years. When you choose to help, be clear that it is your choice. That way you always stay in control of what you do.

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                        • List your positive qualities.

                          Start by making a list of positive things about yourself. These can be anything that you like about yourself, or things that other people might like. It could be something you like about the way you look, or an attractive personality trait, a success that you have had (even if it was a long time ago), or something kind or good that you did.

                          Aim for a list of 100 items. You can spend a few days doing it, but be sure to add some every day. Finish it within a week if you can. Then when you have your 100, keep adding one new one every day.

                          This is a great way to increase your appreciation of your own positive qualities. After a while, looking at this list and adding to it every day, you will naturally come to a point of view where you see that the world is a better place for having you in it.

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                          • Learn to say what you think and feel.

                            Many people who have low esteem feel that they are not entitled to have an opinion, because what they think and feel has no value. When somebody says something that you don't agree with, try saying so. There is no need to get angry or make a long speech: just say, "I don't agree."

                            You will find that the sky does not fall in when you say that. Often times, nothing happens at all. Sometimes somebody will ask you why. If that happens, limit yourself to saying what you think or feel about the question without turning it into a battle about who is right. People can have different opinions without one of them having to be right and the other wrong.

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                            • Believe people when they give you a compliment.

                              If you have low self esteem and somebody says something nice about you, your instinctive reaction is probably that you don't believe them. You will either assume that they are stupid or weird, or you will think that they are not seeing the real you, or you will believe they are trying to flatter you because they want something.

                              Your reaction will probably be to put yourself down in some way. This puts them down too, because you are basically telling them they are wrong to like whatever it was that they just complimented you on.

                              Try just saying "Thank you" and nothing else. If you do this, you are not trying to stop them from liking you. You are saying that you respect their opinion. You might also come to believe it: and then you will no longer have to rank yourself among the many thousands or millions with low self esteem.

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                              • Don't let yourself be treated badly.

                                People with low self-esteem will often find partners and friends who support this belief by being mean or treating them badly. For example, a woman may hook up with a man who is alcoholic, repeatedly unfaithful, violent or just puts her down all the time.

                                If you see this happening to other people, it's easy to give good advice. When it's happening in your own life, it's harder to do what you know is right, but the bottom line is that if you want to be happy, you have to stop accepting being treated this way.

                                The first step is to make it clear that the bad behavior is not okay any more. If that doesn't work, you may decide to get out of the situation.

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