How Do I Stop Fear From Ruining My Life?

Fear is debilitating.

It can completely ruin your day or even, in some cases, your life!

Fear is an emotion, and while sometimes it’s very necessary and can help save your life, there are other times it simply must be faced and dealt with in order to be free.

Below are effective strategies you can use to overcome your fears.

Overcome your fear and solve your problem, click here.

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Replies (14)
    • What is your fear?

      If you can identify it, you’re off a good start. Can whatever you fear hurt you? Begin to conquer your fear by determining if it is rational or irrational.

      • If you fear something, but it can’t harm you in any way, then you’re working with an irrational fear. In truth, there’s nothing to fear here, although it sure is easier said than done!

      • If it can hurt you, then there’s validation in your fear. In the least, you can work out a backup plan that gives you some level of comfort.
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      • Confront your fear!

        Although talking about your fear is the starting point, ultimately you need to face your fear head on. You’ll never get over a fear solely by talking about it. Nothing can be conquered until you face it.

        • You don’t have to face it all alone. Reach out to your loved ones for support. They’ll be happy to help you overcome something that’s preventing you from having a better life.

        • Find a safe way to confront your fear. Take a trusted person with you and start by facing a scaled down version of the thing that causes you anxiety.
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        • What are other people doing?

          Whatever your fear is, someone else has experienced it as well. Search out those people who share your feelings and learn from them.

          • For example, if you’re afraid of flying, you probably know people who have flown, so talk to them about it! It’s quite possible they also had the same fear and overcame it. Ask them what steps they took to move beyond their fear. 
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          • The best defense is a strong offense!

            Instead of hiding from your fear and creating defenses to keep it away from you, use the things you’ve read here to build up a way to attack your fear head on.

            • Research your fear and learn about it.

            • Discover the best way to destroy it with a direct attack.

            • Sometimes the best way to beat a fear is by doing the very thing you fear. If you’re afraid of being in an elevator, take a close friend with you and ride an elevator. Even one or two floors at a time will help you work towards overcoming your fear.

            • Repeat your experiment until you aren’t afraid of it anymore.
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            • Change the way you do things.

              You’ve heard the expression “mind over matter." Facing your fear is often a matter of simply making a decision to change it. This fear was born in your mind and it grew because you fed it more fear.

              If you've convinced yourself that an irrational fear is real, you can do the same in reverse. Many fears we have are those we’ve created for ourselves. The moment something causes you to become fearful, stop that thought in its tracks and turn it into something positive instead.

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              • What's the worst that can happen?

                Take a minute to reflect on the fear that's holding you back. Take a closer look at what you think will happen if you take a head-on approach to your fear. What's the worst that could really happen?

                • If you're worried about rejection, focus on a positive outcome to get past it.

                • If you're concerned about failure, think about the lesson you can learn from the experience that can continue to move you forward toward your goal.

                • If you're fearful about disappointing others, remember that "this too shall pass."
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                • Conquer Smaller Fears First.

                  If you're like most people, your fears range from the smallest, most insignificant things to major scenarios that could be life-changing. But there's really no better way to develop courage than to get some practice at facing your fears.

                  So why not start with smaller fears? Are you afraid of insects? Or are you worried about taking a driving exam because you fear you'll fail? Start with things like these - the fears that aren’t heart-crushing, but which still take some amount of courage to face.

                  • Tell yourself you're capable of facing the fears because you're prepared.

                  • Comfort yourself with knowing that you'll never get more than you can manage in life.

                  • Remind yourself that what you fear is nowhere are large as your will and desire to conquer it!
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                  • Simply decide to succeed.

                    Most people never really decide to do or accomplish anything significant; at best they ‘kinda sorta try it out.’ However, once you’ve truly decided to go for your dreams, there is no other option – and no room for fear or doubt – in your mind. In fact, the word ‘decide’ means to cut yourself off from any other possibility.

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                    • Focus on the good outcomes.

                      Most people look for the worst and expect it to happen. Expect the best and it’s much easier to take action. Sure, some undesirable things will likely happen along the way, but they’ll be like mosquitoes that need to be shooed away. That’s much better than the brick wall that you might otherwise perceive.

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                      • Look at it as a learning experience.

                        It definitely helps a lot if you look at everything - even situations you fear - as a learning experience. Putting a positive spin on something usually makes it much easier to deal with.

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                        • Learn to relax!

                          When you feel stress and anxiety coming on, a few slow, deep breaths can make a huge difference. To a large extent, our psychology follows our physiology; breathing is the only part of our physiology that we can really control. Use that control to your advantage.

                          Try meditating. It will completely relax and focus your mind. It's well worth a try. Click here to give it a chance.

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                          • Prepare yourself.

                            Many of our stresses, challenges, and concerns are things that we anticipated. Take the time to find solutions and put them into place before you need them. When you can see a challenge that is likely to come up, simply prepare for it instead of worrying about it.

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                            • Embrace risk.

                              Chase after your fears and show them who is boss. Make the tough presentation or phone call. Ask for whatever it is that you want. A big part of being successful is doing things that other people are too afraid to do.

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                              • Realize that you can do it.

                                Even if you have things to learn and skills that need to be honed, that doesn’t mean that you’re incapable of the task at hand. Plan to acquire the resources you need, but do everything you can with the resources you have now.

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