How To Develop & Cultivate Super Friendships

Do you sometimes feel like you have fair-weather friends?

Do you think of them as mere acquaintances?

If you wish to build life-long, true friendships you have come to the right thread.

Below are strategies on how to build such a super, rock-solid friendship.

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Replies (12)
  • The Friendly Sacrifice

     Being a true friend requires sacrifice.

    In a rock-solid friendship, you may be asked to give up your desires for your friend's needs. Your friend may need you when it's not so convenient for you, like in the middle of the night.

    In a rock-solid friendship, this would involve sacrificing the comfort of a good night's sleep in a nice, warm bed in order to be there for your friend.

    But that's what friends do!

    • Give and Take

      In a rock-solid friendship, there is both give and take. There are mutual feelings between the parties and it's never one-sided. That doesn't mean that there won't be conflicts because we're human, after all. However, when there is a conflict between two very close friends, the struggles usually don't last long because there is forgiveness, understanding, and communication.

      • Forgiveness means that you let go of any malice or grudges and you move forward at peace with one another.

      • Understanding comes from knowing your friend inside and out - knowing where they're coming from and knowing what they're going through.

      • Communication means that you connect with your friend with an overall understanding of his or her relating style.
      • When a friendship is truly rock-solid, the parties are real with each other; there are no facades, no masks and no secrets. There is trust, honesty, sincerity and loyalty, however, and this comes only as a friendship grows.

        • Friends Help Friends Grow

          True friends help each other grow mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. A true friendship requires both unconditional love as well as tough love.

          Building a rock-solid friendship takes time to achieve, but once you're in a rock-solid friendship with someone, you will know who you can trust. Neither distance, nor hard times can spoil a truly rock-solid friendship.

          • Showing Your True Colors

            As a friendship continues to blossom, casual friends build trust and loyalty through both the peaks and valleys of life. However, it's in the difficult times that a person's true colors are revealed.

            When you're going through a tragedy, a personal crisis, or simply a rough patch, it is the rock-solid friends that are there to help lift you back up.

            • Develop the art of listening well.

              Sometimes, just listening attentively to your friend will make them feel better about a challenge they're facing. To listen well is to imbibe what is being said without thinking of what you're going to say in response.

              • Perhaps when you listen, you're even thinking of how you're going to offload your own troubles onto your friend after they stop talking about theirs. That may be the last thing your friend needs. Listening well means refraining from interrupting your friends and giving them your full attention.
              • Be supportive.

                Help uplift your friend in their time of need. If your friend wants to achieve a worthy goal such as losing weight, giving up smoking, or taking up a new skill, offer them your whole-hearted support. Tell them it's a good idea and go out of your way to provide them with the information or assistance they need.

                • For example, if your friend wants to lose weight, you can help by not indulging when you're around them and tempting them. Heck, you could join them!
                • Avoid taking advantage of your friends.

                  If you call them only when you need help or if you keep asking them for impossible favors, you'll come across more as a pest than a friend.

                  • When they do help you, ensure that the assistance they give you doesn't compromise them in any way. Show them respect and appreciation.
                  • Be truthful.

                    True friendship isn't dependent on your saying "yes" all the time and overlooking your friend's faults. Of course, while you're tolerant of their idiosyncrasies, you'll also want to support your friends in their personal development.

                    • For instance, if you feel a friend drinks or smokes too much, you can tell him so. Offer some words of wisdom. Most of all set a good example.

                    • Love can be both tough and gentle in its attempt to further the welfare of a friend. If your motives are pure, your friends will always be grateful, even if they initially seem to resist your efforts.
                    • Say "Please," "Thank You" and "I'm Sorry."

                      Be polite to your friends. Thank them for their company and their help. Don't be afraid to say "sorry," or "please," when required. These three magic words can really help create harmony. They also show that you don't take your friends for granted.

                      • Be loyal.

                        Loyalty is one of the hallmarks of great friendships. Avoid gossiping about your friends and keep the secrets safe that were given to you in love and confidence. Trust is the basis of true friendships. Treat your friends like you'd want to be treated.

                        • Avoid arguing to win.

                          Trying to prove that we are right is the root of much of the disharmony we see around us. Arguments can make us feel angry and resentful. Instead, just say what you have to say calmly and let it go. Letting go isn't the mark of weakness. It's a sign of greatness and humility.

                          • Agree to disagree. If you must argue, ensure the issue is important and your motives are correct. You're not out to prove you're right. You just want to discover the other person's point of view and share your own. Most of all, you want your relationship to be better off for having had the conversation, just like they do.
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