How many times have you heard these words? Maybe from a grieving friend over a lost relationship or in the words of a favourite song? It is as if some catastrophic event, however large or small, could completely eradicate the good that has been. Is this possible? Probably not, but catastrophe can wipe out memories of the good or at least submerge them until some time in the future when new good times roll into town. It seems to me that this is an awful waste of one's past, present and future and is altogether bad for the soul. Our general well-being has an awful lot to do with balance; fit or lazy, happy or sad, busy or bored good or bad. Since good and bad run through just about everything, harbouring bad feeling whilst suppressing the good gone by is a double whammy.
What can we do about it? Well, first there is no golden rule or one size fits all approach to this way of thinking. However, it is a way of thinking. And we have our own ways of thinking and our own rules of perspective which controls the severity of the imbalance. There are, however, some questions which we could all ask ourselves in coming to a reasoned, more objective view of the situation.
If you're harbouring something, let it go. This does not mean wipe it from your memory, since that's what you're doing with the good times. It means see it for what it really is and not something blown out of all proportion by your sometimes over-analytical, self effacing mind. If it is something that is truly unacceptable then accept it, see it for what is was and move on. But move on in a good and positive frame of mind then it won't return to bite you at some low point in the future. However, if it is something that you can deal with, talk about and come to an understanding about then do all in your power to do just that. In a way, it's a bit like the trepidation felt before doing something new; nine times out ten you really enjoy it once its in motion or least it is nowhere as bad as you thought it might be.
If you can't remember the good times, stop and really think about the past. Just how happy or contented were you? Try to do it when you are calm and write it down. It is amazing how soon we forget.
Stop pretending that the good times must have been in some way fake. This is simply not true, for the vast majority of situations are real; it is our friend Mr Perspective that has his influence here. Be honest with yourself. Whose perspective is it really?
Also realise that, unless you one of an extremely small band of people, you will have your fair share of both good and bad in life. This is necessary for balance and your own understanding of perspective. How would you know something was really good without the learned experience of other gradations of good or even bad?
Ultimately, like the man says, energy cannot be created or destroyed. It is just energy. You can either channel that energy positively or you can suppress it. However, there is such a thing as energy storage; batteries of good and bad times. Which suggests that this storage might be retrievable or releasable? Go on, retrieve the good and discharge the bad but keep it in perspective. Of course the good times last forever; if you let them.
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